A separation or divorce is always painful, and even more so when there are children involved, as their young minds try to grasp the reality of their parents no longer together. Of course, a lot depends on the age of the children, and with their best interests at heart, both parents should get together for a serious dissuasion on how to minimise the negative impact that the separation or divorce will have on their children. This can be difficult, as often, emotions run high, but both parents must try to detach themselves from any emotional turmoil and formulate a plan to help their children handle the separation.
Younger Children
In many ways, younger children accept changes much better than their older counterparts, and providing mum and dad appear unified in their presence, things can be explained away using several strategies. Of course, both parents must be seen to agree on certain things when with the children, which would include custody and visitation. If you are in the process of a divorce or separation and have yet to appoint a lawyer, there are experienced family lawyers in Melbourne, for example, who can ensure that the children do not view the circumstances as something that will make too much difference to their lives.
Teenagers
Any separation that involves children in their teenage years can be quite complex, as they are at the puberty stage of life and may have strong views on the subject of mum and dad living separate lives. One thing that both parents should be in agreement with is to emphasise that mum and not are divorcing each other and not their children.
A Sense of Security
Children need to feel secure, and of course, mum and dad no longer living together will have an impact on their lives, and the goal of every parent should be to minimise the perceive loss of security that the child experiences. We must never forget that the child has never known an environment without both mum and dad present, and every attempt should be made to assure the children that nothing has changed, with the exception of one parent living in another location. It can help to explain that the circumstances are a temporary measure, yet one should not make any promises about a reunion, and by appearing to be calm and rational, the initial shock should be minimal.
Focus on the Future
When discussing the topic, focus on the future, and if you are the one who will be visiting, start to make plans together regarding the future visits, which will keep their young minds on up and coming excursions. Both parents must at all costs, avoid arguing in the presence of the kids, and both should also agree not to try to form their children’s opinions regarding the other, as this can really put a spanner in the works.
If you are about to announce to your children that mum and dad are to go their separate ways, you and your partner should discuss things with a view to causing the least amount of stress for the children.
